Literally, am I sealed at the lips with a steel plate. Literally do I feel cursed, as if every word that doesn’t fit into societies idea of what’s right and wrong becomes a tennis ball that gets shoved back down my throat with the end of a hammer while I’m choking up my feelings. Literally am I incapable of saying what I’m basically tearing at the skin on my chest to set free. So many words. Head has been pounding for weeks every time I realize nothing is able to come out into the open from within. My heart feels like it’s been permanently silenced. Friends words, families words, “professionals” words.. sobrieties words… all of these factors have silenced me. I’m here in the clear with a mostly clean conscious and I still can’t tell the girl that I’ve fallen for everything I have to say. And go figure she’s a poet.. Fuck. My head is spinning.